Age of Opportunity

I don't tend to read parenting books. Mostly because I'm with my children all the time (apart from when they're at karate), so I don't love reading books about children in my spare time!! But it's a great thing when you get to read a book with someone else. This is what I'm doing with a long-distance friend: we're reading Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp and discussing it via Whats App. I've only read three chapters so far but it has been such a huge help to thinking through fundamental principles of parenting (and not just helpful for teens but for all ages). I'm reading it in a paper book- normally I just copy and paste from kindle- but my problem is that I read too fast and don't take things in. So I've decided to type out some of what I've found helpful to help me slow down, consolidate it in my mind and think it through some more.

Paul Tripp:

Ch 1. Age of Opportunity or Season For Survival?

The teen years are years of change, insecurity, and tumult, yet these are the very things that God uses to bring truth to light in the eyes of our children.

We want to approach these important years with hope; not hope in our teenagers or hope in ourselves, but hope in God who is able to do more than anything we could ever ask or imagine as we seize the opportunities he places in our path.

Ch2. Whose Idols Are in the Way?

What controls my heart will control my life.

Let's consider some typical parental idols and the way they shape our responses to our teens:

1. The Idol of Comfort

I am afraid that many of us live for  comfort and bring this entitlement mentality to our parenting. We reason that we have the right to quiet, harmony, peace, and respect, and we respond in anger when we do not get it.

2. The Idol of Respect

3. The Idol of Appreciation

4. The Idol of Success

We think that if we do our part, our children will be model citizens. Yet in a fallen world, this is not the way it works. We tend to approach parenting with a sense of ownership, that these are our children and their obedience is our right.

These assumptions pave the way for our identity to get wrapped up in our children. We begin to need them to be what they should be so that we can feel a  sense of achievement and success. We begin to look at our children as our trophies rather than as Gods creatures....When they fail to live up to our expectations, we find ourselves not grieving for them and fighting for them, but angry at them, fighting against them, and, in fact, grieving for ourselves and our loss. We are angry because they have taken something valuable away from us, something we have come to treasure, something that has come to rule our hearts; a reputation for success.

...God-ordained moments of ministry will become moments of angry confrontation filled with words of judgment.

...Have we even doubted the principles of the Word and why they haven't 'worked' for us?

5. The Idol of Control