Paul Tripp in his book Age of Opportunity; A Biblical guide to parenting teens, details some typical parental idols and how they "shape our responses to our teens".
Here he talks about the idol of comfort (which I think is very relevant to all stages of parenting):
Secretly in our hearts, many of us want life to be a resort. A resort is a place where you are the one who is served. Your needs come first, and you only do what you want to do when you want to do it....You've paid your money, and you have the right to expect certain things. I am afraid that many of us live for comfort and bring this entitlement mentality to our parenting. We reason that we have the right to quiet, harmony, peace and respect, and we respond in anger when we do not get it.
Scripture warns us that life is far from being a resort. Life is war. This is clearly demonstrated in the teen years. I have said to my teenagers many times as they are leaving home, "There is a war out there; it is being fought on the turf of your heart. It is being fought for the control of your soul." The tumult, chaos, and unrest of the teen years are not only the result of significant biological changes taking place, but because of a dramatic spiritual war going on as well.
Parents who demand comfort, ease, regularity, peace, space, quiet and harmony will be ill-equipped for this war. They will begin to see their teenager as the enemy. They will begin to fight with him rather than for him, and even worse, they will tend to forget the true nature of the battle and the identity of the real enemy. They will act out of frustrated desire, doing and saying regrettable things, and they will fail to be effective and productive in those strategic moments of ministry in which God has placed them.
Here he talks about the idol of comfort (which I think is very relevant to all stages of parenting):
Secretly in our hearts, many of us want life to be a resort. A resort is a place where you are the one who is served. Your needs come first, and you only do what you want to do when you want to do it....You've paid your money, and you have the right to expect certain things. I am afraid that many of us live for comfort and bring this entitlement mentality to our parenting. We reason that we have the right to quiet, harmony, peace and respect, and we respond in anger when we do not get it.
Scripture warns us that life is far from being a resort. Life is war. This is clearly demonstrated in the teen years. I have said to my teenagers many times as they are leaving home, "There is a war out there; it is being fought on the turf of your heart. It is being fought for the control of your soul." The tumult, chaos, and unrest of the teen years are not only the result of significant biological changes taking place, but because of a dramatic spiritual war going on as well.
Parents who demand comfort, ease, regularity, peace, space, quiet and harmony will be ill-equipped for this war. They will begin to see their teenager as the enemy. They will begin to fight with him rather than for him, and even worse, they will tend to forget the true nature of the battle and the identity of the real enemy. They will act out of frustrated desire, doing and saying regrettable things, and they will fail to be effective and productive in those strategic moments of ministry in which God has placed them.
So what does this mean? What does it look like? I'm not entirely sure what is being said here...Maybe I need to read the book!
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